The New Year has finally arrived. Judging from the anticipated faces I saw around the world, from Sidney to New York, many people were looking forward to the New Year. Perhaps, they were caught up in the moment—the present. Now that the new year has arrived, what’s next? Hopefully, you have your goals. Or God forbid your New Year’s resolution. Not sure who keeps them anymore. The bottom line, it’s business as usual. Well, hopefully not. As for me, I have been studying the perception and relationship of time for almost a year. Like St. Augustine, I have arrived at the same conclusion: What, then, is time? “If no one asks me, then I know. If I wish to explain it to someone who asks, I know it not.” One thing I do know for sure is that time and our health are deeply intertwined.
Time As Universal and Personal
The sense of time is both universal and personal. As I watched the various New Year celebrations worldwide, I saw how true this statement was. Yet, time is subjective. So what does a new year mean to you? For me, it was another day but a brand new day.
In my office, I stared at my one-year, five-year, and ten-year plans stuck to my wall on a giant yellow Post-It. Then I scanned my to-do lists from October to December 2022, which were also displayed on my wall. Below them was a big 2022-23 Yearly Planner. My To-Do list still had some things I needed to complete. My yearly planner showed my upcoming events, like my webinar on the 3 Keys for Living a Fulfilled Life Without Burnout. I returned my focus to my work, not allowing time to become the leader but the guide.
Notion of Time
Our notion of time can be an unhealthy distractor. I realized that I often allowed time to lead me, which led to overwhelming feelings. But, of course, at the time, I didn’t know how I allowed time to sidetrack me and eventually stress me. I was working for myself, and still, I struggled with time stress. It’s confirmed that much of the stress we experience is self-imposed, unconsciously by most of us (see a list of self-imposed stress below), and is based on our perception and relationship with time. Whether we realize it or not, our notion of time begins to form from birth. It is even proposed that much of our success is determined by our perception and relationship with time.
| Self-Imposed Stress |
| 1. Putting demands on yourself to complete a project within an unrealistic timespan. As a coach, I have realized how vital the “R” is in helping my clients establish their SMART goals. “R” stands for realistic. How realistic are you when you are creating your goals? 2. Trying to perfect a project. Are you falling into the perfectionism trap? There’s a difference between perfectionism and excellence. A perfectionist cannot tolerate mistakes because they see them as evidence of being inadequate or inferior. Excellence is reaching the highest goal but leaving room for grace. 3. Adding too many items to your “to-do” list. How many items do you have on your list? Are you being realistic about accomplishing all 100 things? What about adding only 1-5 items? Remember, for everyone, it will be different. 4. Using your time mentally to criticize yourself or to rehash a situation. If you want to rehash a problem or feel you must criticize yourself, use the Think space because it will confine you, so you are not bleeding into other areas of your life (no pun intended). Instead, schedule a one-on-one coaching session to learn about Life Spaces, such as Think space. 5. Being sleep deprived. A lack of sleep makes you quickly overwhelmed, impatient and foggy the next day. 6. Sitting in clutter. I know there is such a thing as organized chaos. But your brain screams for space. The mess around you affects your wellbeing and performance. 7. Drugs/ Self-medicating. Taking drugs or self-medicating to cope with a problem is a shortcut and a shortcut is never the best way. So it’s vital to take time to get to the root of your pain by seeing a therapist. 8. Eating a poor diet. Certain cars must have optimum fuel to function effectively. If you want to perform at your best, then high-performance fuel is needed—a good healthy diet. |
The Time Test
In a study by the American psychologist Walter Mischel, perception of time was examined in the form of time-based decisions. Five hundred children between the ages of four and five were tested. They were tested again ten years later. In the initial experiment, the children were given a marshmallow. They were told to eat the marshmallow or wait until later to get an additional marshmallow. Some children ate the marshmallow immediately. Others waited a while, taking a nibble of it here and there until it was gone. When some of the same children were tested ten years later, the ones who waited had better test scores and were socially more adept with their peers and dealing with challenging situations.
In addition, there is a link between waiting for that second marshmallow and the ability to excel in life.
The Timing of Deferred Gratification
Hence, timing plays a critical role in deferred gratification. As a health and wellbeing coach-practitioner, this deferment is significant for our health and wellbeing. I know the word “sacrifice” does not have positive connotations. But in achieving a goal, it may be necessary to delay some gratification for a better future. Therefore, how we perceive time determines how well we experience life itself. For example, you desire to lose weight this year. What becomes necessary now for you to defer to have your desired weight in the future? How will you handle the time deferment?
Some fill this space with busyness. Though filling the space with busyness can help, it is also a two-edged sword. Our hectic pace can affect our health and wellbeing unless we get to the root of our issues with time.
What is time? Join me on this exploratory journey of time in the context of your health and wellbeing.
Source:
Mischel W, Shoda Y, Peake PK. The nature of adolescent competencies predicted by preschool delay of gratification. J Pers Soc Psychol. 1988 Apr;54(4):687-96. doi: 10.1037//0022-3514.54.4.687. PMID: 3367285.
