Our words are a powerful force for good or evil. We need to acknowledge the power of words and guard our speech.
It’s been said that trying to take back words is like trying to put toothpaste back into a tube. The mess created by both scenarios isn’t hard to imagine. Indeed, our words possess incredible power and influence to bring good as well as to create disaster.
It is no surprise, then, that some of the Scriptures’ strongest exhortations deal with our speech. The message for the person who would be wise is twofold. Avoid the destructive consequences of words spoken in haste, in anger, or with strong motives. Look for opportunities to use words for good, to the glory of God.
If you want to be wise in your use of words, here’s what you should do:
Use Words Properly
(Proverbs 18:21; 20:25; 27:1)
Respect the power of the tongue. The power of the tongue to bring both joy and chaos to our lives and the lives of others is unrivaled. But, more commonly, our words are capable of shaping the course of a child’s life, cultivating or destroying a relationship, and demonstrating either a godly or corrupt character.
Do not be quick to make a vow or a promise. If you were unable or unwilling to follow through on the vow, there is a price to pay.
Do not boast about tomorrow because life is uncertain (James 4:13-17). We may feel as if we’re at the top of the world today. Such feelings can lead to a sense of invincibility or pride leading us to make ill-advised promises or assurances. It is our nature to boast about ourselves, our accomplishments, and our capabilities. However, praise from the lips of others is more valuable, especially if it comes in response to selfless actions and godly attitudes.
Though we prefer compliments, sometimes what we need is to hear words of correction or reproof. A true friend will show that they love us by being willing to take a risk and confront us. How we respond to praise from others is a test of our character. Will we thank people for their kind words and offer thanks to God for how He works in and through us or will we become arrogant and self-reliant?
How can you avoid the pitfalls of destructive speech?
Avoid Destructive Words
(Proverbs 26:17-28)
Some of the most common problems associated with the tongue are quarrels, deception, gossip, and duplicity. Each of these carries its own dangers yet each can be so enticing. People can be quick to stick their noses in other people’s business, which can result in unpleasant consequences.
It is common in our culture to use humor or personal insults to mask personal hurts or to exact revenge. However, Proverbs makes no allowance for humor when hurtful, damaging, deceptive words are involved. Such words leave permanent scars, both on their victim’s psyche and the wrongdoer’s reputation. Perhaps worst of all, humor when hurtful leads to broken relationships.
Many people are drawn to a conversation containing a juicy piece of gossip. Sadly, once gossip has spread, it is almost impossible to undo its damage (see verses 20 and 22). Duplicity, saying one thing to a person while telling others something different, is another destructive habit we need to avoid (see verse 23). There are times when hurtful words mask an inner animosity or bitterness about other matters, or perhaps they reflect a deeper insecurity. Though charming words may be used, what is in the heart will become evident. Destructive words have a way of bringing harm to both the speaker and the one spoken about (see verses27 to 28). We must guard ourselves against all types of destructive speech.
Do you ever mask personal hurts or grudges with playful insults?
Choose Life-Giving Words
(Proverbs 15:1-23)
The meaning of Proverbs 15:1 is simple:
A gentle answer is so much more productive – and godly – than a harsh word. Yet we struggle. Why? Because our words present a reflection of the people we are inside. They flow from our hearts and souls.
Our words can be a force for incredible good in this world. First, they can be life-giving words to lead others to God and His ways (see verses 2, 4, and 7). They also can speak of a heart that is committed to God.
The timing of our words can be just as powerful as the words themselves when delivering a thoughtful, positive message (see verse 23).
Likewise, discernment makes for good, godly communication. Wisdom leads us to consider our words with care so that what is said is of benefit to the hearer.
Godly speech habits do not come easily or naturally. They must be cultivated through prayer, trust in Christ, commitment to truth, and knowledge of God’s Word. At times it seems as if our world is swimming in bitterness and cynicism as words are spoken without restraint. As believers, we are called to a different standard. Imagine the power of life-giving speech that draws the hearer to eternal hopes and values. Such words are capable of changing humanity for the good and providing the foundation for spiritual victories.
How can you encourage others to higher hopes and values through your words?
Walk the Talk. “Pray before you say . . . !”
Take a moment to ponder your own speech habits. Have you used hurtful words or engaged in gossip? Do your words lead others towards Christ, or do they threaten to contradict your testimony?
The good news is that there is a remedy if you have violated God’s commands concerning the use of the tongue. Through repentance, you can find forgiveness. With the help of the Spirit of God, you can turn from bad habits and form good ones.
Similarly, you do well to look to God if you are struggling with the sting of someone else’s harsh, ungodly words. Ask God to help you heal as well as to forgive. Then do whatever is possible from your perspective to restore damaged relationships.
Ask God to help you apply these practical principles. In doing so, you will find opportunities to share words of hope and encouragement to others.
The preceding article is an adaptation of a Sunday school lesson based on the One Accord curriculum and taught on February 23, 2014.
