As children we are taught “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” While that is a nice thought and an effort to protect our children from the damage words can cause, is it true? Biblically, the answer is no. We are taught that Life and Death are in the tongue. Words are shown to have the power to create; in Beresheet (Genesis) it is the word of HaShem (G-d) that creates. In the Book of Revelation, it is the Word of Messiah that issues forth from His mouth to slay those in rebellion. Words can be similarly powerful in our daily lives. Let’s dig a little deeper into the power of words.
The Power of a Parent’s Words
As parents, we set both the example for our children and their attitudes about themselves. The Scriptures admonish fathers not to provoke their children to anger (we could include in this humiliation).
If we treat our children with love and admonish them gently, they will grow in self-esteem. If, however, we tell them they are accidents, unloved, stupid, ugly, or worthless, they will grow up thinking and acting like they are accidents, unloved, stupid, ugly, or worthless. Most people might think that connection is obvious! You’re right, it is. Then why do so many children feel unloved, unwanted, or worthless? The truth is, too many parents still demean their children, scarring them for years to come. If we address our children with respect, they will grow up feeling respected. If we respect others, our children will most likely show respect to others.
I grew up in the deep south. I was taught to respect others and address people by ma’am and sir. While that may seem quaint it is instilling respect for others. If we use expressions like “those Jews”, “those Blacks” (or worse the “N” word), or “those Whites”, we are teaching our children to think less of people and to not respect them. Lack of respect for a group is the basis of racism. A believer in the Most High G-d has absolutely no reason to be racist. For we all came from one set of parents. Sad as it may seem there are groups who teach Cain’s curse was he was made black. That is Scriptural ignorance at best, pure hate at worst. The curse was not skin color and even if it was, it has no merit. Why, because all perished in the Flood with only 8 surviving. All came from 6 people who survived on the Ark and whose offspring, all fathered by the same parents, (the sons of Noach) and their wives.
Show your children respect; show respect for others; show respect for G-d, and they will follow in your ways.
The Power of Other’s Words
We are often told to not gossip. What few realize is Scripture teaches much more than don’t gossip. It teaches us to not speak of others’ private matters at all. In Judaism, it is referred to as LaShon Hara – “the evil tongue.” There is a story that may help you understand this point. There once was a Rabbi that a certain man hated. This man would go around speaking ill and spreading falsehoods about the Rabbi. As the man grew older, he realized his mistake and approached the Rabbi to ask forgiveness. So far so good right? Well, the Rabbi agreed to forgive the man if he would do just one thing. The man quickly agreed. The Rabbi took a pillow made with feathers, went outside, ripped it open, and threw all the feathers to the wind. He then told the man to collect all the feathers and he would be forgiven. The man shocked, exclaimed it is impossible to pick up all the feathers as the wind had scattered them. The Rabbi responded by saying, just like it is impossible to pick up all the feathers, so too it is impossible to make right all the words you have slandered me with.
Just like the feathers, evil words can’t be taken back. When we speak ill of others, even if true, we are spreading evil about that person. Many believers today do this under the guise of “praying for the person”. They will say “pray with me, brother [insert any name] is having an affair”, or “Sister [insert name] had a man at her house last night”. While juicy gossip makes one feel important, it damages the object of that gossip, often in a manner that cannot be repaired. What if we are mistaken, maybe the “man” was her brother?
Words from others can hurt in other ways. Did you know most physical abuse begins with mental or verbal abuse? Schools have a “no bullying” policy, but it has not stopped the behavior. I have seen the results of bullying, name-calling, and other abuse from children in my own life. It can destroy a young person. We all probably remember the case of the young girl who committed suicide after being taunted by her schoolmates over an inappropriate picture she sent to someone she liked. While sending the picture was not proper, did she deserve to be so mentally abused to the point that she took her own life?
That is the power of words by others and our own words on others. We even use politics to demean others. Whether their name is Bush or Obama, neither deserves to be demeaned or disrespected. We may not like a policy, but should we not respect the office at least?
If we set an example of disrespect for others, our children will grow up disrespecting others.
The Power of HaShem and Messiah’s Words
Words in scripture come to symbolize the ultimate power. As we began this article, we talked about HaShem’s Words creating, and Messiah’s Words destroying. The ultimate Words of life are recorded in the Torah, the very Word of G-d over 3000 years old. Recorded in the Torah are not only remembrances of G-d’s creation, but Words that define righteousness, and Words that define unrighteousness.
Messiah is credited with being the Word of HaShem (Yochanan or John), the very Torah (Word of G-d) placed in a human body that lived a perfect life, observing all of G-d’s commands, to be a sacrifice that redeems us to HaShem–G-d’s Glory (Shekinah) clothed in human flesh. Messiah understood the power of Words and used them to comfort, correct and even admonish.
Sha’ul (Paul) talks about the tongue being like a small rudder that steers a large ship. He is saying Words direct us. Messiah said it is what comes out of a man’s mouth (the intent of the heart) that defiles him. Even the Arch Angel Michael would not curse Satan but instead said “HaShem rebukes you”. If an Arch Angel (there are 4 we know of: Gavriel, Michael, Raphael, and Uriel) the princes of G-d would not speak ill or curse Satan, who are we to curse others?
Our Words have special meaning to HaShem. Messiah quoted the greatest Commandment to be: “Hear Israel, the L-rd is G-d, the L-rd is One”; the second is to love your neighbor as yourself. Why did Messiah proclaim “Hear Israel The L-rd is G-d, The L-rd is One” as the greatest commandment (the Love G-d with all your heart is actually in the Torah part of the same passage as Hear Israel)? Because this commandment establishes a fundamental fact that supersedes everything: HaShem He is G-d, there is no other and we are His Children. Thus with Words we declare our allegiance to G-d.
The Essence of Words
Messiah himself gave us a key understanding of forgiveness of others and how it is required as part of us being forgiven by Hashem. Note these Words:
Messiah commanded (Matt 6:9-15):
Pray like this:
Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. May your Kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us today the food we need and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one.
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Thus Words are even fundamental to our relationship to G-d (salvation). With our Words we confess our belief in Him. With Words, we declare our allegiance to Him. With Words, we confess our sins to Him. With Words we ask forgiveness from Him.
Words hurt; words heal. We speak Words of life and death to our children. We speak life and death to others. We even speak life or death in how we approach G-d.
Scripture said it perfectly: “Today I set before you life and death, Choose Life”. Life is in your Words!
