In my last article, which was the introduction to “Self Esteem-Identity Theft“, I talked about a need to feel loved, significant, and competent. These needs are fulfilled in your God-given identity through a personal relationship with Christ. So what is it that makes it so hard to accept your true identity? You have memorized scriptures after scriptures. You have tried to psych yourself out by using positive affirmations. You have shouted declarations from the roof tops. Yet, you still struggle to accept this true identity in Christ. What makes it difficult to accept this new identity? It is shame. When a self-image is fixed in a belief system driven by shame, low self-esteem is manifested. Shame is rooted in a lie that you believe as truth.
There is a difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is the belief that you have done something wrong and need to be forgiven. Shame is the belief that there is something wrong with you; you are unworthy, a mistake, and a feeling that you don’t measure up. Shame attacks your identity and creates scars which make it impossible for you to accept yourself for who you are. Shame results from believing shame-based messages spoken to you by people in authority. In believing those messages, you accept them as truth and begin speaking them to yourself. In doing so, you create a false image and beliefs contrary to who you are in Christ.
Shame fuels a host of compulsive behaviors and compels you to want more- money, prestige, possessions, pleasure, more, more, and more of all the wrong things.
You buy into beliefs which confirm that you do not measure up to others, and that you need their approval to be accepted. You believe you need to imitate others to gain acceptance. The hidden message behind shame is rejection. The Bible teaches that our true identity is in Jesus who accepts us and took upon Himself the shame for us all. You can silence those messages through acceptance of His sacrifice, and be transformed from a shame-based existence. When shame speaks, you can speak back and silence the words with words of a loving and accepting God. You are no longer a victim; you are now a victor! You can be set free of an identity plagued by shame, fear, and low self-image. It’s a “choice.” You decide to live the life you want. You must choose to make peace with yourself, let go of the past, and forgive those who shamed you. Forgiving is not easy, but it’s a process– a necessary step in the journey to healing. Forgiving is a gift from God that you must receive to obtain freedom, healing and restoration of your stolen identity.
