Just imagine for a moment–you are in the best shape of your life. You dieted and trained hard to get the results you dreamed of, then a major disappointment happens and you no longer want to diet or train any longer. You just want to disappear into the sadness of that awful situation. As a result, you lose your self-confidence, self-worth and no longer see the vision or the ministry that God showed you. To add to the stress, you get pregnant! Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I wanted another child, but I knew that I would gain a lot of weight from my pregnancy and I did– over 80+ lbs, just like I did with my first child. Oh my goodness I am FAT again!
The word “fat” generated a sea of emotions and thoughts in my mind. It even took me back to my childhood when family members were so quick to point out my plump physique or let me know that they were better than me, because they were smaller than me The seed of you are a fat girl was planted back then and grew into a mature tree. Even when I was not considered plump, but more on the athletic side, I still saw a fat girl.
How did I get here?
Most of my life I have dealt with my weight. Although, at one time, I had lost over 100 lbs, very lean and fit, wearing a size 4, there was still someone in my ear telling me that I was FAT! For the past 13 years, I struggled with trying to lose the excess 80+ lbs that I had gained after my second pregnancy. Imagine being a size seven or eight and then a size 24W in less than nine months! It was enough to drive me to the point of frustration. God had given me the most beautiful, healthy baby boy I could have imagined, but I was angry because I felt He had also given me an extremely overweight, broken and sick body. One week after my son was born, I developed a blood clot in my right calf and to make matters worse, I had to quit my job because I could no longer perform the duties of the job. I was a full-time cardio kickboxing instructor!
I was depressed: 80 extra pounds, a blood clot, a tarnished physique, and now no job. I felt scorned, betrayed and hurt by the body God gave me! I was angry as hell’s fire!
I Have Fallen
I was not motivated any longer, for I could not see how I was going to lose the extra weight. I knew that there was one time I had lost 100lbs. I was 32 years old, but when I thought about what I had gone through to accomplish that, the thought only made the mountain before even more daunting and impossible to climb. With no job, no medical benefits, no money, no energy, no motivation what was I going to do? Where was God? I have fallen back into that fat girl abyss a place that I promised myself that I would never return, but there I was, once again!
For many years, I asked myself, How am I going to get this done being over 40 years old with two kids and a full-time desk job? I cried out to the Lord to help me.
So many times, I tried things to try to get this weight off: diet pills, trainers, crazy diets, body wraps, colonics. You name it, I tried it, but deep down in my soul, I knew that these things would not work, but I did them anyway. What a waste of time and MONEY!!
Doing “The Work”
Utterly exhausted, I realized that the ONLY way that I was going to lose the weight was to “do the work,” like I did the first time.
I was back to clean dieting and training, daily.
The Work
- 1.5 to 2 hrs of cardio 5-6 days a week
- 1 hr of weight training 3 times per week
- Diet lean protein, mainly fibrous carbs(green leafy veggies) and sweet potatoes
- 100 oz of water(distilled)
- Multi vitamins
Initially, the thought of returning to this regimen seemed as hard to conceive as performing it. I wanted to take a pill, eat what I want, drink a shake or two and only do 30 minutes of cardio 3 days a week! I knew this would not work for me, but I did it anyway! And I did not lose a single pound! I did not want to do “the work”, but I knew I had to return.
Bottom line, you must do the work to get the results, but it does not stop there. When you do the work, learn from it and accept what you have learned.
I realized that in order for me to reshape my body, I had to work as hard as an athlete. When I did this, the weight began to come off. During this process, I also learned that I cannot eat bread and pasta and still hope to shed the weight. These particular foods caused me to retain water and gain fat weight, almost immediately! I could not believe how my body responded so negatively to these foods! It was astounding! So, once I learned and accepted these facts about my body, things began to change and the weight started to come off! Wow! Look at God!
The Change
Seeing the changes in my body was motivating. But when others began to notice, I was encouraged even more. Often when people have asked me to share what has worked for me, I have shared with them these few points:
1. I knew I had to put first things first: I began to seek after God, according to Matt 6:33. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and HIS righteousness and all of these things will be added to you.
Too often we are waiting on God when He is waiting on us! In other words, I stopped seeking after losing weight and sought, 100% after God’s own heart.
2. Along with seeking God, I also meditated on, Hebrews 11:6- But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.
For the entire year of 2012, I made it all about God. During my daily morning devotions, my only request was, “Lord, show me Your heart.” Then I would ask Him, “What would You like for me to do today?” “How can I get to know You better?” “Show me those areas where I can be better.” These were just some of the things I would share with God. You see, everyday, I made it all about Him and even to this day, it is still all about Him.
3. Along with seeking His face, I had to forgive those who hurt me and I had to forgive myself. Yes! Forgive! Just like God requires us to do so in Matthew 6:14: “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”
When we don’t forgive, it hinders God and the Holy Spirit’s ability to communicate and minister to us. It’s really something, because as soon I began to do these things, the anger of my past went away and I began to lose weight. My attitude changed; my energy level improved, and my sensitivity to the leading of the Holy Spirit increased. Experiencing the wonderful changes has been phenomenal!
Now, these changes did not happen overnight, I realized that my journey was a process and that I had to be patient and allow the process to take place! I didn’t rush through it or tried to push things along. The scripture tells us to Let patience have its perfect work (James 1:4). Yes, I know it’s easier said that done, but necessary for success!
However, through that patience, the Lord blessed me with an awesome fitness and training coach! This awesome woman of God has been a blessing to me more that I could have asked or thought! To me, she is an Ephesians 3:20 blessing!
Having a coach/accountability partner is a blessing, but it is still my responsibility, not my coach or God, to do the work! I realize that it is not easy, but it is not impossible either. The sooner I accepted this truth the sooner I started seeing results!
Since committing myself to “the work”, I have lost 50 lbs. My goal is 100 1bs, which means I am still a work in progress, but I am ok with where I am at this point. I have also learned to be content in whatever place that I am in as noted in, Philippians 4:11 – Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. Trust me, when you do this, it makes the journey so much easier and it really does take off the pressure!
Something to Chew On:
- Seek God, daily
- Forgive those who hurt you
- Forgive yourself
- Do the work, even when it is tough
- Learn your body as a result of the work
- Accept what you have learned
- Be content where you are in the process
- Be accountable to yourself
- Don’t cheat yourself
- Be patient during the journey
- Enjoy the journey
