Self-esteem is an area that affects our own mental and physical health and can be the root of many harmful actions related to how we treat others. If we do not like ourselves, it impacts our self worth, how we see G-d, and how we see others. So what is self-esteem, where does it come from, who are we, how does it impact us, and how does it impact others?
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is a concept many talk about, but many do not understand. It is not proud and boastful; it is rather being comfortable in one’s skin. Many cover up low self-esteem with bravado, boastfulness, or a “look at me” attitude. That is not true self-esteem. In scripture, we have excellent examples of people knowing who they are and being comfortable within themselves. The Messiah is a prime example. He knew where He came from, knew who He served, knew what He was meant to do — all earmarks of positive self-esteem.
Sha’ul (Paul), likewise, was confident in his identity, his calling, and his purpose. Note how Sha’ul stated that he was a Jew of the tribe of Benjamin. To some people’s surprise, he also said he was a Pharisee (we think of all Pharisees as being bad; they were not). He clearly articulates his calling from G-d. That meant that he knew where he came from, he knew where he had been trained, and he knew his calling and purpose.
Our self-esteem stems from knowing where we originate. I am not referring to the state or city we are born but rather from G-d of whom we originate. Each of us is not a cosmic mistake, not an accidental alignment of atoms, but a unique creation of HaShem (G-d). He breathed life into each of us, and as is seen in the beginning scripture, we are created in His spiritual image (Beresheet or Gen 1:26). In other words, G-d left His impression on us. That trumps all; it does not matter if we are black, white, Hispanic, or Asian, only that we are in His image. Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness — Gen 1:26 (NASB).
Who are we?
We are princes and princesses of the Most-High, of immeasurable worth-a reflection of God’s glory-God in us. Though we are a reflection of this glory, we fall short of it. Our duty is to walk in the right ways, trusting HaShem and His Messiah to help us live a life conformed to the Messiah’s image. Where we put our trust transforms our life. If we put it in ourselves or in others, such as our pastor, political leaders, Facebook likes, or in having a great body, we have not undergone real change. These transformations are associated with the temporal. Real change comes from the inside out.
Our natural self-esteem is flawed, having negative effects on others. To repair it, we must desire to become like the Messiah who “grew in wisdom and stature.” Instead, we must resist the desire to rebel or follow the Etzer Hara or evil inclination within us. Think of it almost like selfishness. We want what we want and it does not matter what others want.
It is our responsibility to resist the Etzer Hara-evil by exercising the power of choice/ free will. We do this by becoming Talmidim (Disciples) of the Master. Discipleship is not a sprint, but as Sha’ul (Paul) says, it’s a marathon. So why a Messiah? Several reasons: to give us a perfect living model, to redeem us to HaShem, and to cover our failings. No matter how hard we try, we will still fall short of the “Glory of G-d.” This limitation within ourselves does not give us an excuse to not try to live life according to G-d (Sanctification).
Why is this information important in regards to our self-esteem? G-d creates an interesting tension; on one hand, we are “created in the image of G-d.” On the other hand, we fall short of perfection. It is in this polarity that we find within ourselves. I am perfected in G-d; but I am a flawed sinner. How do we, then, reconcile these two seemingly opposites? That is the heart of the matter. The answer is realizing we are all perfectly formed by G-d, put in this time and this place to live for Him. It is our free will that then carries that image forward.
- Do we live for G-d?
- Do we reflect His light?
- Do we love others?
- Do we live righteously-walking the right way?
If we do, we are living up to our purpose. We know who we are, and we are fulfilling His plan. At times we all fall short, but what is important is how we deal with our mistakes that define us. We confess our failure and change our behavior to do what is right (the essence of repentance). Scripture is clear — “if we confess our sins (turn away from), G-d is faithful to forgive our sins.”
Within that tension our self-esteem reaches balance.
How does a positive or a negative self esteem affect others?
Walking in G-d’s will-knowing His purpose with a destiny promised by the Master of Creation — gives us a sense of where we come from, who we are, our purpose, and where we are going. It gives us confidence. It gives us self-esteem!
Lack of self-esteem does the opposite. It clouds how we view G-d. It makes us question Him. It infuses us with fear and prevents us from experiencing His joy. We see Him as a “cosmic bully” ready to hit us with a thunderbolt. It causes us to see others and compare them with ourselves. It impacts our physical and mental health in many negative ways.
Low self-esteem can be traced to acts of cruelty, crime, and even murder. How many times have people lashed out at others in an attempt to feel better about themselves? How much hate has begun as a result of low self-esteem? I wonder what role it played in recent school shootings. What role has it played in history, such as in slavery and genocides? Trying to make ourselves big by lowering others is a sure sign of low self-esteem.
Messiah knew why He came, where He was from, and what He was to do. Because of His mission when facing a cruel death, He said, “Father forgive them”. The King of Kings forgave the creation that was putting Him to death. He knew Who He was and did not lord it over people but instead was a servant to all, even performing the task of a slave, washing His disciples’ feet.
If we really are created in G-d’s image, then we are of tremendous worth. Many of us are taught that the Messiah loves us and that He died for us. This is true, and for that reason alone we should see our value. But even a greater truth is that HaShem (G-d the Father, if you will) sent the Messiah to die for us!
PRAYER: Father, thank you for making me an heir of your kingdom. I accept the royalty of my birth and the sacrifice of your son, Messiah’s death, for me. How can I be then of little worth? Father, give me an awareness of this truth every day. In Yeshua’s (Jesus’s) name I pray.
