“Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who trust in Him!” (Psalm 33:8 NLT)
The above verse aptly described my journey during my battle with cancer. Indeed God has allowed me to taste and see His goodness despite the pain I have had to endure through the process. ~Ching Co
Cancer is something that is not alien to me. While living in China, my maternal grandmother died in her early thirties from breast cancer complications. My mother was also diagnosed with the disease and underwent mastectomy on her left breast in 1994. Due to her age and her mental state, however, no further treatment was suggested. She died in 2008 after the cancer metastasized.
In July 1997, a small mass, the size of tiny pimple appeared on my tongue. I thought it was just an ordinary mouth sore, but it turn out to be an “infiltrating ulcerating keratinizing squamous cell carcinoma tongue mass”. As a result, my doctor decided to cut off a portion of my tongue where the cancer was located and my oncologist prescribed more than 30 sessions of radiation to further control the spread of the cancer to my neck. That was 13 years ago, and today I am still enjoying fullness of life because of God’s mercy and love!
Learning Faith, Respect and Wisdom
Because my family attended a Pentecostal church, praying for healing was something that came to us naturally and we have seen the Lord perform miraculous healing in response to prayer. Yet, when I was told that I possibly had cancer, my family and I began considering different options: (1) do nothing and trust God for my healing, (2) take a natural alternative path as opposed to surgery, or (3) follow our doctor’s advice to have surgery and possibly radiation treatment or chemotherapy.
I was inclined to rely on God’s healing or to go the alternative way. But when we presented our options to my dad, he told me, “Continue to pray for healing, and yes, do change your diet, BUT please listen also to your doctor.” Seeing his concern, we decided to do things his way.
After the operation, I was not able to talk due to swelling. I saw the sad faces of my family and friends who came to visit me in the hospital. I was expecting tears or sadness to overwhelm me, but something very strange happened. Instead of sadness and tears, I felt a desire to laugh. It was like something was welling up inside of me – a great longing to laugh loudly. I thought that something must be wrong with me. Then this verse immediately came to my mind: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV). Praise God! I finally got to taste God’s promise first hand, not just in my heart and my mind, but in my whole being as well.
Learning to Enter God’s Rest
During the period of my recovery, I found myself often crying out to God, begging Him to take away or lessen the pain. At other times, I found myself repeating His promises back to Him hoping to work out some feeling of His Presence. It was during this time that the Holy Spirit used many images to help me understand what God wants me to do. He did this by showing me various scenes to get His message across.
Little by little, as I learned how to let go, I experienced RESTING IN GOD instead of WRESTLING WITH GOD. Finally I understood what the psalmist meant when he quoted “BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD” (Psalm 46:10a). God taught me that in our walk with Him, there will be times when we need to learn how to let go and let God take control. We need to believe that our God is more than able to come to our aid.
Understanding Pain and Suffering
In the midst of this pain and difficulty, the Lord taught me two lessons. I learned how to empathize very easily with cancer patients. Not only was I able to intercede for them spontaneously, I discovered that I was able to minister to them with ease also because I felt their pain and articulated it in very intimate details.
Another lesson learned was the importance of seeking God’s wisdom in speaking with the patients and their families. Sometimes hyper faith promises will not bring them comfort but often will make them feel guilty because of the challenge at that moment. But more often, just listening to them, touching them, crying with them were more effective than words:
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:2-4 NIV)
Most importantly, the lesson I learned in my journey with cancer can be summarized in this verse: “WE WAIT IN HOPE FOR THE LORD; HE IS OUR HELP AND OUR SHIELD” (Psalm 33:20).
My Prayer
Heavenly Father, you know every person who will read this testimony. Thank you that you know them by name. Thank you that just like what you did for me, you will also reveal to them bountiful lessons for their suffering and how you will use these experiences to bring comfort and blessing to other people they will meet in the future. Indeed you are more than able to turn all our sorrows into joy.
We praise you Almighty Father because of who you are. Thank you for the Holy Spirit who is continually at work in our lives. We speak all these by faith in your Son, our wonderful Savior Jesus Christ’s name. Amen. Amen. Amen.
